How to choose a screen name in Online Poker

Almost all online poker sites do not allow you to change your screen name – ever. That means you’d better give some serious thought to your choice right now because you’re going to have to live with it throughout your whole poker career.

For example, many Liverpool F.C. fans in 2010 decided that variations on ‘TorresLFC’ were a good idea. They must be regretting that now almost as much as poor old ‘TorresCFC’ is. If you’re a sports fan choose something that stands the test of time. Similarly, don’t use a currently popular band or video game or other possibly short-lived fad. Don’t use the current year or your current age – because next year they both mean absolutely nothing.

The best approach is to ask yourself what you want from a screen name. Let’s assess the possibilities one by one, bearing in mind that there can be plenty of overlap between them.

Choose a screen name that relates to you personally

If you have no concerns about being identified you can choose your own name or parts of it, or a nickname. You may need to include numbers in this kind of screen name as there’s a good chance that your first choice will be in use already. You can add numbers to the name or replace letters with similar numbers, e.g. ‘3’ for ‘E’ and ‘5’ for ‘S’. You can also use the names of those close to you, including pets, but bear in mind privacy concerns. You can even use something self-descriptive like ‘fivebellies’ or ‘sweatynutsack’.

Choose a screen name that may tilt your opponents

There are a number of ways to do this. You can choose a name that is offensive, either to almost everybody or just to certain groups. Be careful with these though. If you go too far and use racist/sexist comments etc. you can expect them to be rescinded by the poker room. Mild examples are ‘Religion_LOL’ and ‘lol_poor people’.

Then there are the personal insults like ‘durrrr’, ‘umakemelookpro’, ‘uhaveasmallPP’, ‘MyVPIPisurIQ’, ‘B4IFURU18’, ‘Nh Wp FU’, ‘Om Nom Nom’ and ‘UPay4MyWeed’.

Another way to try to tilt opponents is to issue a challenge to them. Examples include, ‘reload_pls’, ‘YouBetIJam’, ‘NiceTrySucka’, ‘imbad-beatme’, ‘idontchinkso’.

Self-deprecating or condescending names, particularly when combined with aggressive play or chat can also be tilting. Names like, ‘relax_max’, ‘WhyDaddyDrinks’, ‘ifartinmysleep’, ‘2stuk2givafuk’, ‘CheckCallPray’, ‘TrustFundGone’ and ‘LimpinAintEasy’. Although, to be honest, most of these are more likely to elicit a chuckle rather than tilt.

Another effective way to tilt people is to misspell your chosen name. Normally you should take care that you have spelled your chosen name correctly, but if you really want to wind up a grammar nit choose a name like ‘YouLooser’ or ‘PokerProffesional’. 95% of your opponents won’t even notice – but that other 5% will have steam coming out of their ears.

Finally, a clever choice is a name like ‘2donks1flop’ which succeeds in being both critical and self-deprecating – not to mention funny.

Choose a screen name that is misleading

Most poker players are men and many believe that women are no good at poker. Therefore some male players play using a female persona. The same principle holds for certain nationalities. Many players believe that Southern European players play more emotionally and are more fishy than average. You can try to take advantage of that. e.g. ‘repopadopolis’ would be a great name for a Greek player.

Choose a screen name that is unmemorable.

You usually don’t want other players to remember you. Therefore some players will seek out names that are pretty anonymous. Maybe a common name with some numbers like ‘John2589’ or maybe just numbers, or a meaningless jumble of numbers and letters or maybe something unpronounceable using symbols. Just remember not to get carried away and make it so obscure that it becomes memorable. The same goes for avatars. Some players will choose to play without an avatar. However, if nearly all the players in your usual games play with an avatar, playing without one will only make you stand out as “that guy without an avatar.”

Choose a screen name that you find funny or interesting

This category is a kind of catch-all. It includes sports teams and players and characters from books, like ‘Isildur1’. It includes corrupted names of famous people, like ‘Cashisclay’ and ‘Fidel_Cashflow’. Also words and expressions corrupted to apply to poker terms. As you can imagine, the word ‘muck’ features a lot in these. Examples include ‘gomuckurself’, ‘shiphappens’, ‘donkeywhisperer’, ‘MuckingFaster’ and many predictable variations on the hand KJo.

You can simply use words or expressions that sound or look good. ‘ValueTowny’, ‘iclickbuttons’, ‘OMGSPLOSION’, ‘SirMucksalot’, ‘PfOaKcEeR’, ‘toadlystoned’, ‘PeppermintHippo’ and ‘BEEPBEEPIMAJEEP’ are great examples.

Names can just be funny like ‘DontRaiseImGay2’ or ‘wewaise’ (with an avatar picture of Elmer Fudd.) They can be an internet meme, such as 2plus2’s ‘THE F DO’ and ‘[ ]NameDelivers’. They can be just plain weird like ‘sexualintercoursewithdeadcats’ and ‘mydogisgay’. They can even be as obscure as a clever grammar joke such as ‘fckvwls’. Or maybe just something that sounds good, like ‘gobbledygook’ or ‘jabberwocky’.

Now choose your screen name

We hope you find some food for thought here to help you decide upon the perfect screen name for you. Most of the above names are real screen names, and we hope you agree that many are clever and funny too. So don’t just choose the first name that comes into your head. Think about the long term. You can try to be funny but not crude or juvenile, please. We’ve already got plenty of them – yes, I’m talking to you ‘Hugh G Rection’.

Above all be creative and come up with a unique name that you will be proud of for years to come.